So Much To Do, So Little Time

I foresee a cumbersome internet deprivation for the next six days at the very least! Even at work as I peel my way through tasks that seem intriguing, tedious and dull at the same time. I baked shortbread cookies earlier in the night. The kind that crumbles too easily and melts in your mouth too quickly, yet I’m not happy that they don’t taste like the best cookies I have ever had. Was it something I left out in the batter or did I crank up the speed on the electric mixer when I shouldn’t? Long weekend ahead (thank you Mr. Manager, for the impromptu leave approval that I didn’t even have to ask for) - whoopee! - but I think this is only as festive as I can get.

 2:24 AM     Permalink     Leave a Comment

Amazing Grace

It all started when the uniformed officer signalled me to place my carry-on luggage on the electronic weighing machine as I walk gingerly into the departure hall, all the while reminding myself that I had to walk tall in the knowledge that my little suitcase wasn’t as heavy as it actually was. I knew I was doomed the moment he pointed and waved at my suitcase. All the chocolate blocks and HOT4s magazines that I had in my luggage contributed to the uneasiness I felt, knowing that it was more than twice as heavy as the maximum weight allowed for a carry-on. “That is too heavy. What airline are you on? Are you flying Business Class?”, he inquired, rather rudely. I wasn’t, and he ushered me out the way I came in and insisted that I could only pass through if I reduce my luggage weight. What ensued right after were a series of exasperated attempts to remove heavy items in my suitcase. Feeling panicky, I had no other option but to grab hold of a few strangers who were kind enough to carry my stuff for me until I could safely pass the weight test, which took three attempts in total. I wasn’t sure if I had been a victim of racial bias or airline bias but the S.O.A.B. officer had the courtesy to deny me entry even when I had shaved off half of what I initially had in my suitcase until I pleaded and begged for mercy.

Just before the final call for boarding, I realized that one of the kind strangers who helped me earlier, whom I now know to be Mei Ling, is nowhere to be seen. She was having my bible, which I hastily shoved into her hands in the feeble attempt to lessen my luggage weight. Once again, I’m thrown into a helpless frenzy mode as I realize that I didn’t have the time to locate her to get my bible back. If it were anything else, I could’ve easily given up but the bible carried a lot of sentimental value and was encased together with a very personal diary. In the end, I sank into my seat on the plane, out of breath and blinking back tears as I recall the horrible 30 minutes that I had just gone through. In between taking deep breaths, I tried to work out why things turned up the way they did on a day I looked forward to for months, on a day I was returning home. All I managed to do was let out a sigh and say a prayer for comfort.

About a week ago I was confronted with another major disappointment as I didn’t make the cut for an internship program that I dreamt up for a long time, even after putting in a lot of thought and effort into preparing for the interview which included a presentation on a case study based on the economic crisis this year. I was actually quite confident that I would be hand-picked as the choice candidate for the program but I guess all the research I had done wasn’t enough. Amidst having to secure a back-up to the internship, I had to be tormented by the fact that my results were going to be released in a matter of days. Remember the law paper that I complaint about here, about how I was on the brink of failing it? Well, an accounting paper that I took a week from then went so badly that I sobbed all afternoon after the paper, so sure that I was going to have to repeat the subject again next semester. I was embroiled in an emotional turmoil for awhile, afraid and despaired over the course of circumstances that crept its way into my life.

But time and time again, I am humbled by God’s grace and love for me and am reminded of how His compassions never fail¹. Lea managed to retrieve the bible from Mei Ling after rounds of walking and searching the departure hall, and the best thing out of this incident is the fact that she now uses the bible during her quiet time. I will be reporting for my two-month internship tomorrow, albeit not in a firm of my first choice. And the finest moment of the week definitely has to be the rainy Thursday afternoon in Starbucks when I receive the call from Kah Kit to tell me that I passed all my subjects.

I guess all I wanted to tell the world is just how thankful and blessed I am right now. :)

[1] from Lamentations 2:22, a verse that has always been there for me when I needed it the most.

 6:30 PM     Permalink     4 Comments

Noise

Life in the past week has been infiltrated by alot of noise: the drone of the airplane as it touches down on home soil, the incessant nagging by the elders in the family to not stay out too much and too late, the rumble of the engine of the boyfriend’s car as it parks in front of my house, the blunt comments of my very visible weight gain by everyone back home…

And all the while I thought my metabolic rate was capable of cushioning my very unhealthy diet of sweet treats and heavy meals in the last four months. I guess not. I know I let out a piercing shriek of disbelief when I step on the weighing scale for the first time in four months in Calvin’s place a few days before I was bound to head home. All of the four kilos is why I will be frequenting the park for evening runs in the next couple of weeks.

Just as how I’ve packed up and stowed away one suitcase after another in anticipation of moving into a new place next year in Melbourne, I come home to unpack a huge luggage that’s overflowing with all my favourite chocolates and biscuits to give away, I’m reminded that I’m doing the same with my life. The storing and the unloading, the sealing and the unravelling of a different lifestyle, a different set of habits, people, places and challenges.

But it’s good to be home, of course. I’ve been indulging in more-than-enough sleep and breezing through the week with no fixed agenda, which is a stark contrast to the couple of days before I board the plane. It was hectic and nothing but a big frenzy all the way as we tried to squeeze the last bit of fun out of the little post-exam time we have ‘till we say our goodbye’s and see you next year’s.

This is me in one of the gifts that welcomed my arrival home - a pink Paul Frank hoodie with puppet mittens(!!) - courtesy of the boyfriend. :) Oh and that’s my favourite Dutch on the poster in the background. KYang, does it ring a bell?

 7:57 PM     Permalink     4 Comments