One night as I lay in bed, I yearned deeply for my lover, but he did not come. So I said to myself, ‘I will get up now and roam the city, searching for him in all its streets and squares. But my search was in vain. The watchmen stopped me as they made their rounds, and I said to them, ‘Have you seen him anywhere, this one I love so much?’

For some reason or another, I’ve always regarded “twenty two” as the age that is rather insignificant. It’s definitely much less revered and coveted than the milestone ages like eighteen or twenty one. I know I definitely wasn’t looking forward to my birthday this year if it meant that I will have to add another year to my age before I could even say oh yeah, I’ve lived my 21st to its most fantastic last breath. So this year, my birthday came sooner than anticipated; though it’s not to say at all that it was any less memorable than the previous. This year, my second one away from home, I still got to spend it with a lovely bunch of people, who are also the ones who remember weeks in advance, the ones who call at midnight, and the ones who never get tired of a good surprise party. The girls told me that we will go out for a simple dinner with just the few of us, and the surprise was of course, getting the rest of the posse to sit in and wait out for my arrival and my ‘surprised face’. Apparently, I didn’t look too surprised, much to everyone’s disappointment. But I was, believe me! That little slip-of-the-tongue didn’t exactly ruin the well-orchestrated plan; you girls did a very good job! :)

At the risk of sounding silly, I’m just going to let you in on a secret: that on the night of my birthday, I watched myself grow. How is that even remotely possible, you may ask. All I know is that, despite being surrounded by so much love, I was deprived of the kind that I crave the most for. Life can be cruel and unfair. Many nights I have sat by the bed with the phone in my hand, eager to share about my day like how the other lovers would. That night I found myself in the same spot, doing the same thing. Only this time, unlike all other times, there was more hurt than I could take in one night. The more assertive twenty two year old me was careful not to let such anguish and disappointment consume me. And so it got me thinking; but what is the measure of maturity if not to go through a rough patch knowing with an absolute certainty that you will become a much stronger and wiser person after? I think I like the me now than the me five years ago, two and a half years ago, and even just a year ago.

(more…)

I thought I had emerged unscathed from the brutality that is last week but the days this week has proven to be just another spawn of a ‘hell week’. There can never be too much time set aside for schoolwork.

One of the things that I thought I’d do this week was to write a nice post and put up a picture of some flowers I got as a surprise gift a few weeks ago from the boyfriend to mark our third anniversary (or so he thinks; it’s actually not until three months later) together as a couple. As I speak, all the flowers have wilted into thin, wispy strands of uneven yellow and brown.

On top of that, I’m also down with a bout of cough and cold brought about by the abrupt change in the infamously erratic Melbourne weather. That’s what I’d like to think of as the cause of my cancelling out on Friday night plans with the girls. Though some prevailing sense of self-awareness at the back of my head tells me that it may actually be the irregular sleeping hours that my body is subtly rejecting and the fact that I’m getting more picky with my fruits. The only kind of fruit that I would eat right now are fresh blueberries. Even that is becoming a ‘lil worn and tired so this week’s grocery run will include looking out for a new fruit for some well-needed nourishment!

I’m dreading the closure of the week/month and am feeling antsy over the dawning of a new season. Oh, what will it bring?

Here’s a picture of said flowers anyway…

…which was a tangible reminder that though such acts of tenderness is a nice touch, it can only last as long as the flowers do. At the very least, it really did make my day :)